An Introduction

Hello!

My name is Christi.  I'm all sorts of things... I'm a recent graduate of West Virginia University, having earned my masters degree.  I'm an aunt to three amazing little boys.  I'm a sister, a daughter, a friend, a companion, a cat mama.  I am an academic, a cook, a crazy fish lady, a photographer, a conservation geneticist, a woman who can't resist playing in the puddles as the rain comes down.  I'm also a member of the 'young widows club'; my husband passed away on December 25, 2013, when I was just 29 years old.

Dealing with the loss of the man that I spent 12 years of my life with has been challenging to say the least.  There have been moments that felt like I'd never survive and moments where the memories feel more like a movie I watched than like things I actually experienced in my life.

One of the things that I've been doing in order to cope with my grief is writing.  I've written what amounts to an entire book and yet, I'm not ready to publish it.  I'm not sure I'll ever get to the point where I want to be finished adding chapters and letters and words; it has become the hiding place for my deepest darkest and most honest thoughts in life and publishing it would be letting go of it and letting it out into the world.  After rereading all of the words I've written, I have come to the conclusion that it is too private and too raw to share with the world, so it will remain mine alone.  That being said, I do want to share some parts of it with the world, because I think it'll help other people in similar situations deal with what they've experienced.  It also helps me to share my stories, my emotions and my pain.

So here we go... I'm going to present this as a series of letters to Travis, my husband.  Please don't be confused though, this isn't about him as much as it's about me and my grieving process, my coping mechanisms and both my successes and failures as a young widow.  It's about me growing as a person and rediscovering myself in the shadows of this huge life loss.

I want to thank you in advance for your support and comments while I continue to deal with this part of my life.